I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
