She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
