I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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