He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
