Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
