I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
please come you make the beer taste better
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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