i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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