i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
