I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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