Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
