Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
