i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
