3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
