He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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