My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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