oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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