Im at strip club and am horny
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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