Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
