It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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