The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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