Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize