Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize