I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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