she was so not down for the gang bang
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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