come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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