He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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