she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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