then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
