what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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