beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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