Can i not drive my cunt home
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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