i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
