he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
