I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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