I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
