shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
