omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
