we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
