I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
