I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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