Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i will never coherently bang her
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
