did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
honey bunches of taint.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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