ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
