We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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