ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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