It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
