NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
