Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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