Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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