who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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