everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
