fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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