I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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