you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
