don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
