I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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