thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
