It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
