i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
