ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
