My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
