i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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