yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
