You smell like stripper and shame
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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