There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
